Good session with Joanna yesterday. Question is, what occured for me to be able to handle various extremely difficult situations that I had over the past few days soo fucking well? It's great...but weird. Why? No fucking clue.
Could it be that I could of fallen out of my weight range when I saw Jill today? It would make sense I guess.
But I think it may be the fact that I am eating at a more comfortable level- meaning I am missing approximately 2-3 exchanges a day. I like the fact that I am not eating 100%...I am still eating well and not purposely taking out foods. I am not skipping meals or snacks.
Today was good when I saw Jill. She said that my weight essentially is reflecting exactly what I am consuming. That my weight has gone down, but at the slowest possible rate. So if I get back to meeting everything like I did the week prior (and the past 3 days) I will be back on track. Phew! I can do this.
But why is it that I want to potentially lose weight right now? I don't want people to get angry and upset with me...things are going great, everyone is happy and proud of me. I am leaning towards the fact that I might be trying to show people that I am still struggling even though I sound and seem well on the outside. Is this true? I don't like having potential ideas and not knowing if it is true or not. It makes a lot of sense to me. It is much easier for me to do that than to explaining to people that I am having difficulties. I can tell my treatment team no problem, but not my family. Mainly I think because my team get's it. They understand. My family does not. They don't get it. Especially my mother...and Carlos too.
Could it be that I could of fallen out of my weight range when I saw Jill today? It would make sense I guess.
But I think it may be the fact that I am eating at a more comfortable level- meaning I am missing approximately 2-3 exchanges a day. I like the fact that I am not eating 100%...I am still eating well and not purposely taking out foods. I am not skipping meals or snacks.
Today was good when I saw Jill. She said that my weight essentially is reflecting exactly what I am consuming. That my weight has gone down, but at the slowest possible rate. So if I get back to meeting everything like I did the week prior (and the past 3 days) I will be back on track. Phew! I can do this.
But why is it that I want to potentially lose weight right now? I don't want people to get angry and upset with me...things are going great, everyone is happy and proud of me. I am leaning towards the fact that I might be trying to show people that I am still struggling even though I sound and seem well on the outside. Is this true? I don't like having potential ideas and not knowing if it is true or not. It makes a lot of sense to me. It is much easier for me to do that than to explaining to people that I am having difficulties. I can tell my treatment team no problem, but not my family. Mainly I think because my team get's it. They understand. My family does not. They don't get it. Especially my mother...and Carlos too.
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