bleh

it's been rough. food has been ok. weight stayed the same when i saw jill on tuesday. didn't decrease like it had the past two weeks. i should be happy with that. but i it didn't sit right with me. 
been in a depressed, i don't give a fuck kind of mood the past two days. im exhausted. today i am home the rest of the day....coffee, couch, and movie day for me. 
was supposed to go shopping for a pair of jeans with my mom- can't do it. told her i wasnt in the mood. am going to stop by parents house tomorrow night. see joanna tomorrow morning then walking dogs then have a vet appt for my babies. got them new harnesses today. then taking my babies on a trip to virginia- see a friend and go to my parents. 
really bad self image thoughts, and a lot of self criticizing. really depressed. really hating myself in general.
I have written a lot the past few days on a lot of shit- but don't feel as though everyone on here should have to read/deal with my shit anymore. 
have been way too busy as well. found a dead bahama anole at work this morning while cleaning out the reptile tanks. pissed me off. last thursday when i cleaned the tanks i saw that it had an open wound on it's back, so i separated it from the others in the tank by putting him in his own so he could heal. well apparently someone put him back in the other tank and now he is dead. pisses me off. and then when cleaning the leopard gecko tank, i picked up the hide-out rock/cave, and i found a tail. yes. a tail. it looked like someone had put the rock hideout on top of one of the guys' tails and so it fell off. The gecko was running around with out his tail! I've seen it before on anoles and regular lizards, but not on a leopard tail. I just stood there staring....then tossed the tail out. His ass is healing fine and the tail will grow back. I just don't get how people can be so stupid soemtimes!
This is what a leopard gecko looks like...