weekend
Weekend has been busy- which is good. I have had a lot of negative thoughts and did slip on food I think, but then again am not really sure.
Friday afternoon after my dog walks I went to my parent's house, fed and watered the dumb cat and did some laundry. Then met up with my friend Blair and hung out with her for a few hours (ate ice cream with her). After that I went to my best friend Kimmie's apartment and spent the rest of the evening with her. My pup Kiara is staying with her while my family is in Germany- so that was nice. I had a great time with Kiara and Kimmie. When I left it was 2100 and way past dinner. I honestly didn' want any food at all and wanted to say fuck it. Then I said, no I will have dinner when I get home. But in reality I knew I wouldn't. So I went to Harris Teeter across the street from Kimmie and got a deli sandwich which I ate on the way home.
Saturday Carlos was off work which was nice. We spent the whole day together....we have NEVER had a weekend day together!!!! went out and about to do somethings. Knew I needed a snack so I got a smoothie somewhere. We were then told to go to his Mother's house for Carlos' birthday dinner- his birthday is Monday. We got there at 6pm when they told us and we didn't eat til 8pm. I was PISSED. His mom always does that- she is NEVER on time. Then we sit there twiddling our thumbs. Oh and then she had invited her husband's (kind of carlos' stepdad) brother, his wife, 3 kids and 1 grandkid. Carlos and I hadn't met any of the kids. Just very unexpected. The food was okay, but I know it didn't meet all of my exchanges and then there was double dessert. Whatever, I did well but when I got home I could not finish my ensure. I couldn't swallow it. It was too much sweet stuff...blah
Today has been good. This morning my other good friend Dijana stopped by on her way back up to philadelphia! She has never been to my apartment, so it was really nice. I then worked from 1-5pm which was wonderful! I loved it! Then a consulation for a new dog and home. My snacks were fucked up today. Only had my ensure for mid morning snack. And I was at work during the afternoon snack, but someone offered me a crepe so I took it and ate it. Then had my ensure and nuts in the car. I think my food is fucked today again.
My stomach hurts really bad as well. It fucking sucks. I'm exhausted. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. I hate myself. I hate my body. I feel like a worthless piece of space.
Friday afternoon after my dog walks I went to my parent's house, fed and watered the dumb cat and did some laundry. Then met up with my friend Blair and hung out with her for a few hours (ate ice cream with her). After that I went to my best friend Kimmie's apartment and spent the rest of the evening with her. My pup Kiara is staying with her while my family is in Germany- so that was nice. I had a great time with Kiara and Kimmie. When I left it was 2100 and way past dinner. I honestly didn' want any food at all and wanted to say fuck it. Then I said, no I will have dinner when I get home. But in reality I knew I wouldn't. So I went to Harris Teeter across the street from Kimmie and got a deli sandwich which I ate on the way home.
Saturday Carlos was off work which was nice. We spent the whole day together....we have NEVER had a weekend day together!!!! went out and about to do somethings. Knew I needed a snack so I got a smoothie somewhere. We were then told to go to his Mother's house for Carlos' birthday dinner- his birthday is Monday. We got there at 6pm when they told us and we didn't eat til 8pm. I was PISSED. His mom always does that- she is NEVER on time. Then we sit there twiddling our thumbs. Oh and then she had invited her husband's (kind of carlos' stepdad) brother, his wife, 3 kids and 1 grandkid. Carlos and I hadn't met any of the kids. Just very unexpected. The food was okay, but I know it didn't meet all of my exchanges and then there was double dessert. Whatever, I did well but when I got home I could not finish my ensure. I couldn't swallow it. It was too much sweet stuff...blah
Today has been good. This morning my other good friend Dijana stopped by on her way back up to philadelphia! She has never been to my apartment, so it was really nice. I then worked from 1-5pm which was wonderful! I loved it! Then a consulation for a new dog and home. My snacks were fucked up today. Only had my ensure for mid morning snack. And I was at work during the afternoon snack, but someone offered me a crepe so I took it and ate it. Then had my ensure and nuts in the car. I think my food is fucked today again.
My stomach hurts really bad as well. It fucking sucks. I'm exhausted. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. I hate myself. I hate my body. I feel like a worthless piece of space.
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