i am in so much pain right now. it is not even funny. i am feeling so sick to my stomach right now. the past two days have been horrible food wise. i thought it got easier as time went on. 
i just want to run from my body. escape my body. i am so disgusted with myself. i look like a beached whale and cant even phathom looking at myself. i must look absolutely grotesque. i am expanding in every which way. so gross. i am practically in tears. 
i have done so well and i will continue to do well. i dont want to cry because i dont want to look weak. i have kept such a positive and upbeat attitude so that no one would see my weakness. i have been so good at refocusing myself from the fullness and disgust with my body. i just can't seem to rid that feeling this weekend. 
i cant wait to leave, go back to joanna and jill, continue my meal plan, but actually be able to move. i feel if i can actually walk around that this feeling will ease up. or drive places. just being able to get out i strongly feel will be able to take my mind off of some things and allow the feelings to pass easier.