Okay....so last night kind of went down hill. Carlos and I spoke about the session and I asked him to please give me his schedule for next week to make another time.
We also had some emails back and forth which is just what i'm going to post here because i'm tired of writing.
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Hi babe,
Thank you so much for coming today. I had a wonderful time. To me I felt that the therapy session was very successful and I believe that a few of them will just make our relationship even stronger. I really enjoyed the meal with you as well. I really feel that all the information both you and I have learned so far will really be benenficial when I come out. I wish I had been here last fall, I don't think I would be in this current situtation if I came here first. We shall see though! But I am very determined and positive!!
There is a girl talking on the phone behind me right now and I want to shoot her. She is just bitching about the place here. Saying that she doesn't need to be here because she doesn't have a problem eating, just keeping it down. DUH that's why you're hear you idiot. I tried explaining to her why she needs to be here last night, clearly didn't work. I quit with helping people here...if they don't come in wanting help then they will keep that attitude.
Anyways my head is killing me...so i'm going to pass out on the couch.
Please don't forget to send me your school schedule.
Love you,bubu
-------------------------
Hi Baby,
I thought it was very helpful indeed, but as you know I take things seriously, and I felt like I was getting attacked and honestly I didn't like it. It can defenetly make this relationship stronger but I believe that going to a third person it's not right and that we should talk our differences ourselves. You know how I am, and you know that I am sensitive as well and take things serious, so let me have more more time to decide this, I hope you understand and see my point of view as well. I strongly think that if we have problems on our relationship is up to us to fix it, and not to involve somebody else, but if that makes you happy I'm willing to do it, you know I love you with all my heart.
-----------------------------
It is ultimately your decision. That is why when you answered 'sure' to Marisa's question of if you would come back, I asked you if you meant that. If you felt like you were being attacked and did not like it, then we should absolutely not do it again. That is not fair to you. I will not let you suffer through something you don't want. It's not just for me. I am trying to get away from people doing things just for me. We have to both be able to stand up in regards to what we want or don't want. It is your decision baby. Whichever you decide, our relationship will never get ruined. I think one thing that we should do when I get frustrated or you get frustrated is just pause for a minute. Both of us stop, think of what we are about to say or are saying. Then five minutes later talk it out instead of getting frustrated with eachother. just a thought!
I love you more...Bubu
------------------------------
Then this morning he wrote to me, "I was thinking about it, and I think I'm going back, but not to marriage counseling, I'm coming back to see you and talk just how we talked the first session we had before. No more getting involve in our relationship, but more about you and how you deal with stuff. With that being said I love you and I will see you next week."
I am so confused?! Last night after we got off the phone I was in tears (but held them back so he wouldn't hear and no one would see). Then a bitchy nurse (first time I have seen her) told me to get off the phone because I was on it too long....I was on one call but spoke to my oma, opa and mother. that made me upset and same thing regarding the crying. Lastly my head had got increasingly worse over the day/night and I needed more motrin. Apparently I had to wait 4 more hours. I got more upset. The one dose is even less than what I usually take. AHH.
I was so upset.
Oh so this morning when meeting with my Psych and talking about things and he asked me what my big journal was about. I told him everything. He asked if he could read it and I said sure. So he is taking my journal home tonight and is going to read it...hahaha it's going to take him HOURS or days lol. I print all the emails I send/recieve from joanna in there. This journal is HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We also had some emails back and forth which is just what i'm going to post here because i'm tired of writing.
---------------------------
Hi babe,
Thank you so much for coming today. I had a wonderful time. To me I felt that the therapy session was very successful and I believe that a few of them will just make our relationship even stronger. I really enjoyed the meal with you as well. I really feel that all the information both you and I have learned so far will really be benenficial when I come out. I wish I had been here last fall, I don't think I would be in this current situtation if I came here first. We shall see though! But I am very determined and positive!!
There is a girl talking on the phone behind me right now and I want to shoot her. She is just bitching about the place here. Saying that she doesn't need to be here because she doesn't have a problem eating, just keeping it down. DUH that's why you're hear you idiot. I tried explaining to her why she needs to be here last night, clearly didn't work. I quit with helping people here...if they don't come in wanting help then they will keep that attitude.
Anyways my head is killing me...so i'm going to pass out on the couch.
Please don't forget to send me your school schedule.
Love you,bubu
-------------------------
Hi Baby,
I thought it was very helpful indeed, but as you know I take things seriously, and I felt like I was getting attacked and honestly I didn't like it. It can defenetly make this relationship stronger but I believe that going to a third person it's not right and that we should talk our differences ourselves. You know how I am, and you know that I am sensitive as well and take things serious, so let me have more more time to decide this, I hope you understand and see my point of view as well. I strongly think that if we have problems on our relationship is up to us to fix it, and not to involve somebody else, but if that makes you happy I'm willing to do it, you know I love you with all my heart.
-----------------------------
It is ultimately your decision. That is why when you answered 'sure' to Marisa's question of if you would come back, I asked you if you meant that. If you felt like you were being attacked and did not like it, then we should absolutely not do it again. That is not fair to you. I will not let you suffer through something you don't want. It's not just for me. I am trying to get away from people doing things just for me. We have to both be able to stand up in regards to what we want or don't want. It is your decision baby. Whichever you decide, our relationship will never get ruined. I think one thing that we should do when I get frustrated or you get frustrated is just pause for a minute. Both of us stop, think of what we are about to say or are saying. Then five minutes later talk it out instead of getting frustrated with eachother. just a thought!
I love you more...Bubu
------------------------------
Then this morning he wrote to me, "I was thinking about it, and I think I'm going back, but not to marriage counseling, I'm coming back to see you and talk just how we talked the first session we had before. No more getting involve in our relationship, but more about you and how you deal with stuff. With that being said I love you and I will see you next week."
I am so confused?! Last night after we got off the phone I was in tears (but held them back so he wouldn't hear and no one would see). Then a bitchy nurse (first time I have seen her) told me to get off the phone because I was on it too long....I was on one call but spoke to my oma, opa and mother. that made me upset and same thing regarding the crying. Lastly my head had got increasingly worse over the day/night and I needed more motrin. Apparently I had to wait 4 more hours. I got more upset. The one dose is even less than what I usually take. AHH.
I was so upset.
Oh so this morning when meeting with my Psych and talking about things and he asked me what my big journal was about. I told him everything. He asked if he could read it and I said sure. So he is taking my journal home tonight and is going to read it...hahaha it's going to take him HOURS or days lol. I print all the emails I send/recieve from joanna in there. This journal is HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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