12/9/2013
I feel broken. I feel broken in to more pieces than Humpty Dumpty. And I don't think I will ever feel whole again. His marriage has knocked me down completely. I struggle to not cry at work. I struggle to function and hold on long enough till I can go home and let go. I'm working on my plans for my Christmas trip, but I cry the whole time. Have to have more help than usual to sleep so I don't cry all night.
I feel empty. I feel broken beyond repair. I feel unwanted. I feel undesired. I feel unloved. I feel totally alone evening my office building. Tonight I can't watch TV like I usually do. I can't read like I usually do. I can't focus on anything for any period of time.
I have therapy Wednesday and I just do not feel like talking to her. There is nothing to say that has not already been said. I'm fighting hard to not disappear under my rock...but it's what i want. I don't want to see or talk t anyone. I just want to be left alone. Or even better, I want to sleep cause it's the only place where I don't feel this pain. But tomorrow is another day of putting one foot in front of the other...just trying to function and get through the day.
I feel empty. I feel broken beyond repair. I feel unwanted. I feel undesired. I feel unloved. I feel totally alone evening my office building. Tonight I can't watch TV like I usually do. I can't read like I usually do. I can't focus on anything for any period of time.
I have therapy Wednesday and I just do not feel like talking to her. There is nothing to say that has not already been said. I'm fighting hard to not disappear under my rock...but it's what i want. I don't want to see or talk t anyone. I just want to be left alone. Or even better, I want to sleep cause it's the only place where I don't feel this pain. But tomorrow is another day of putting one foot in front of the other...just trying to function and get through the day.
Replies
Honey, I can feel your despair and pain jumping off the page. You are going through a roller coaster ride of emotions. I felt the same way, barely able to get home and just cry. One day, you will realize that you are not crying and are smiling more and more. Hugs my friend. Remember you have everything, trust, honour and respect.
Thanks. Today is better. I think each day is a little better. I cry a little less. I was up late and went to take the day off, but made myself come in. I was late....but I did come in. I suffer from clinical depression anyway and the last 4 years have been one loss after another. Still, I feel ok right this minute and that\'s all that counts. One minute at a time. Then it will be an hour. Then a day. Eventually I will come out on the other side.