12/21/13
So. Had to cancel my Christmas trip yesterday. Long story. One thing after another. Just didnt work out. Was a hell of a day yesterday, including seeing ex in grocery store. First time I've run in to him. Saw him from the back, he never saw me and she was not with him. Still...
I'm not too disappointed about the trip. I wasnt looking forward to being with my family and I wasnt feeling all that well. Right now though, I am very very lonely. Off work until Jan 6. We are closed till then. I'd go back tomorrow. I'm bored. I'm lonely. And it's only been 1 day.
If I made no effort. If I got offline and stayed the off the whole time. And didnt text anyone. If I initiated no contact with anyone, it's entirely possible I might not hear from anyone at all for 2 weeks. It's not unlikely that I could go this whole 2 weeks with out seeing anyone or hearing the voice of another person.
How do I know? Experience. A friend said there must be a reason why all of my plans fell through like they did. Perhaps, because I was complaining about my family, I needed to be taught something? No, that's not it. Perhaps, that I need to enlarge my circle and get out more and meet more people? Possibly.
Ah well, I will get through it. I have before. Huh. My first Christmas since dad died. My first Christmas absolutely and totally alone. Then again, I know I am not the only one. It will be ok.
I'm not too disappointed about the trip. I wasnt looking forward to being with my family and I wasnt feeling all that well. Right now though, I am very very lonely. Off work until Jan 6. We are closed till then. I'd go back tomorrow. I'm bored. I'm lonely. And it's only been 1 day.
If I made no effort. If I got offline and stayed the off the whole time. And didnt text anyone. If I initiated no contact with anyone, it's entirely possible I might not hear from anyone at all for 2 weeks. It's not unlikely that I could go this whole 2 weeks with out seeing anyone or hearing the voice of another person.
How do I know? Experience. A friend said there must be a reason why all of my plans fell through like they did. Perhaps, because I was complaining about my family, I needed to be taught something? No, that's not it. Perhaps, that I need to enlarge my circle and get out more and meet more people? Possibly.
Ah well, I will get through it. I have before. Huh. My first Christmas since dad died. My first Christmas absolutely and totally alone. Then again, I know I am not the only one. It will be ok.
Replies
You\'re not the only one. I\'m on the farm alone this Christmas. I\'m okay with that. I just have to decide what I\'m eating for Christmas supper. It will just be me and the boys. I got a new boarder today for at least two months. It will be me, four horses, two male cats, two female cats and Max my dog.
Like you I need to enlarge my circle of friends.
I\'m ok with it, too. Mostly. Having car trouble I cant do anything about till sometime next week so stuck at the apt. I think that makes it feel worse, knowing I CANT go anywhere. If I could, I probably wouldnt. No biggie. So many people have it much worse. I\'m having either roast beef or turkey.
Just have to keep chuggin along :) I\'m not in a good place right now, but I keep trying :) You are definitely not alone. Hugs to you
Thanks Lori. I know. So many around me going through things so much worse. I feel like a whiney baby. Thanks.