Things are still not going that well for me.  I am waiting to hear back from my doctor.  I am afraid of what she might said and do.  One of the hard things is that her and my therapists are both 2 hours away so it is hard to get a quick appointment when I need it.  I have to schedule them a few days in advance to make sure I can get up there and also to see if I have the money for gas.
I am struggling to just hang on.  I am not suicidal but I am afraid that I will just completing blank.  That I will not be able to function and that no matter goes on I will not be able do anything.  And if things conitnue in the direction they are going I am going to hurt myself very seriously.  Not that the cutting I do now is not serious but I will hurt myself more than alittle scar.  My cutting is beginning to happen more offen.  Every little things brings the urge on.  I have tried many different things to try and distract myself but nothing is working.  I want to stop but I can't.  It is to hard.