I can't sleep at night last night it took me till 3:30/4:00 to finally fall asleep and then I was up at 8:30.  I am having nightmares and bad dreams.  when I close my eyes I see a million things race through my head and it takes along time to get them to finally slow down.  when they do my bad dreams start.  I have dreams about bad things happening to me so I am always opening my eyes to make sure nothing or no one is in the room with me.  This is a nightly thing.
Things at my house are not getting any better and its making it hard for me to deal with the things going on with me.  I have a hard enough time try to stay up and positive (which is not working very well).  Things are not going very well with me either, I started cutting and hurting myself again after not doing it for 2 months.  each time I cut it doesn't stop the pain and the hurt so I want to do it again and worse the next to.  I can't stop.  I hurts to much and cutting is the only way I know how to make it stop alittle.  nothing ever makes it go away for good. 
I hate myself and everything that I stand for I hate my existance at times I wish things were over and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore.  Everything about me is wrong.  I can't even find or have a relationship with anyone because I am so wrong and worthless to have that kind of happiness.