I can't sleep at night last night it took me till 3:30/4:00 to finally fall asleep and then I was up at 8:30. I am having nightmares and bad dreams. when I close my eyes I see a million things race through my head and it takes along time to get them to finally slow down. when they do my bad dreams start. I have dreams about bad things happening to me so I am always opening my eyes to make sure nothing or no one is in the room with me. This is a nightly thing.
Things at my house are not getting any better and its making it hard for me to deal with the things going on with me. I have a hard enough time try to stay up and positive (which is not working very well). Things are not going very well with me either, I started cutting and hurting myself again after not doing it for 2 months. each time I cut it doesn't stop the pain and the hurt so I want to do it again and worse the next to. I can't stop. I hurts to much and cutting is the only way I know how to make it stop alittle. nothing ever makes it go away for good.
I hate myself and everything that I stand for I hate my existance at times I wish things were over and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. Everything about me is wrong. I can't even find or have a relationship with anyone because I am so wrong and worthless to have that kind of happiness.
Things at my house are not getting any better and its making it hard for me to deal with the things going on with me. I have a hard enough time try to stay up and positive (which is not working very well). Things are not going very well with me either, I started cutting and hurting myself again after not doing it for 2 months. each time I cut it doesn't stop the pain and the hurt so I want to do it again and worse the next to. I can't stop. I hurts to much and cutting is the only way I know how to make it stop alittle. nothing ever makes it go away for good.
I hate myself and everything that I stand for I hate my existance at times I wish things were over and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. Everything about me is wrong. I can't even find or have a relationship with anyone because I am so wrong and worthless to have that kind of happiness.
Replies
I am so sorry for the torment you are having. I can relate to not being able to sleep. That has been happening to me lately. I have cut for years so I can identify there too. I nearly lost my life due to an infection from a severe cut. I sure hope you can stop doing that. It is a form of self hate and there is no future in it. I have heard it said that holding a piece of ice tightly in your fist can be a good substitute. Please don\'t hate yourself, you are just going through a tough time right now. You are not so worthless that somebody couldn\'t love you. You are hurting and I want you to know I care and that I am here for you if you ever need to talk. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree, you are not alone. You are not worthless and you have people that care. I care! I want to be here for you. I know how it feels to be sad and feel like theres no way out. There is a way out, and you are not alone!