so here i am. wow. and it is raining again. july 18. wow.don't really know how these people here adjust to this.... so i get home last nite ... and get this "I don't want any house guests at christmas" thing thrown in my face.  i knew that there would be some fallout after 6 days down there. is absolutely amazing that the only "family" that matters is the one that is a big fu__ing disfunctional mess right here in this immediate area, and that anyone that I am related to is just those out of state folks that are seen just periodically.i guess the upside is that in some ways i really don't enjoy having my brother's lifestyle rubbed in my face every time we are down there, mostly because i think i wish that i could have been more like it, or at least a little bit. i can see why he will always be a favored status for not crossing state lines/etc. so many things/places/etc have transpired in my life in the last 14 years since college/leaving CA that it is just astounding to me. i need to be more thankful for 2 healthy kids and the ability to see what they are up to and watch them grow, but still find myself looking for adventure in life in the places that i have not "been" to yet.     i still hear the rain tinkling down my window...geez am i ever still tired.