i guess i could write about the things over the last year that have driven me to this depressed state, but i think that is really a building pattern that started 5 years ago.i left a good deal in NV for WA in the assumption that real oppurtunity for growth/etc would be achieved career wise (this was my reasoning) although that could have been acheived by going over the hill to Sacramento and not back up here (which i had attempted thru KPW with no success in 2001).  she was expecting to have more involvement/help/etc from c&j here in seattle but that is not realistic either.i just don't know....let this thing simmer for 6 months and then see if it really is going to work.....i am so used to just finding the faults in anything or making them up that i just don't seem to key in on the positives that may be involved. they just don't seem to stick with me.