i just feel like i sit here at my computer and look for things to occupy the time until 5pm. sad. feel so tired and apathetic. sure seems like it takes all the energy that is left to just get thru the day. why do i just seem to give up on myself like this. i listen to those tapes on the way to/from work from midwest center and relate to what they are saying but don't know how to really push the button/turn the switch to make it happen. sure is depressing knowing that most people will be out enjoing this weekend and i will probably be stuck with that frigging fence work/etc. should have gotten out when i could last year, or just not started this big upward/downward spiral.