my friend and i are kind of seperating for some unknown reason, but i'm letting it happen. she was always in charge of our friendship as i'm always so emotionally unstable and regularly unavailble. i dont mind not seeing or speaking to her. it sounds bad, and i do lover her, but i'm tired, and we tier each other out to much, i think we both need emotional breaks. i spend my lunches with two of my other friends, the girl, she's great, i recently told her i was gay because i knew she'd be 100% okay with it and the guy, he's great too, gay actually, we make quite the 3 sum. we're the three muskateers now, and we spend alot of time laughing, something i almost forgot how to do...they make life less complicated. i know i'm partly running a way from my problems, my friend, she knows everything about me, all my deepest secrets, and someimes that scares me, that i cant prtend with her, she'll call me on it, and nothing can be hidden anymore. but i like to pretend, it makes my evil thoughts almost disappear when i'm with people who knoe nothign about me. i like what i have now, being with those two makes me smile, and whether it's real or not doesn't bother me right now, i just want to be happy....