dreams

i've been having the most vivid dreams lately.there always about the same things. myself in some sort of situation where i'm telling someone i know that i'm homosexual. there always understanding and i'm sure this is just me expressing how much i want to be out. but the dream always takes a turn. all of a sudden, my best firend is there. i'm telling her how i feel about her or we're just talking about me, it's really odd. then i wake up and my body feels beat up and i have horrible anxiety. i dont know how to change this rutine without doing something like telling more people. i would love to, but i dont think i should be doing that now. but then, if not now then when. school is almost over for me and once i go off to university it'll be over and done with, can i hold out that long? and do i really want to?