This week I feel like I'm hanging in the balance... waiting for a decision that could change the way I live my life. I'm not even sure which way I want it to go. I have been weighing the pros and cons of all the scenarios I can think of and I know I can handle whatever is thrown at me.
Yes, there are 'better' outcomes but if there is one thing I have learned over the years it is that I have to accept and move on. That doesn't mean I lay down and let things just happen to me. I need to stay actively involved in the decisions and outcomes and make the best of whatever decision is made.
Financially I know it would be nice if I could just go back to work full time and start bringing in a decent paycheck again. Physically I don't know if that is possible but I would like the chance to give it a try. That's where I feel out of control. This decision is not mine to make. My doctors have said I'm fit to do a gradual return to work, Insurance wants me to go back for sure and my physiotherapist, well, he's on the fence about it. He knows I still deal with almost constant daily pain and he's reluctant to just say 'yes, she's good to go'. He made sure his report indicated my pain issues and physical limitations such as sitting tolerance <30 minutes. The problem is my employer. I went in last week with my doctor's note indicating I can start my ease-back on January 23rd. HR made it clear that they still have to find a project that will accept my return gradually. I got the impression this search isn't going very well. We have one major client that has changed the way we work - no more working from home, EVER and weeks of full time training that I could not possibly do right now.
I don't know what happens with insurance if work refuses to accommodate a gradual return, they've been balking at this idea since it was first mentioned. Will insurance insist I have to try doing full time or will my doctor's note trump that as it clearly states I can start 'ease-back' Jan. 23rd? This is where I'm stumped and unsure how this might play out. But as I said, I'm not really worried about it. even if my insurance dumped me and work let me go I'd survive. I can still apply for government disability, its not as much money but my meds would be covered 100% instead of just 75% which would save me about $200 a month. Also.... well, I've got it all running through my head but its too jumbled up to get it out clearly. But suffice to say I've thought about all possible scenarios and I WILL SURVIVE
Yes, there are 'better' outcomes but if there is one thing I have learned over the years it is that I have to accept and move on. That doesn't mean I lay down and let things just happen to me. I need to stay actively involved in the decisions and outcomes and make the best of whatever decision is made.
Financially I know it would be nice if I could just go back to work full time and start bringing in a decent paycheck again. Physically I don't know if that is possible but I would like the chance to give it a try. That's where I feel out of control. This decision is not mine to make. My doctors have said I'm fit to do a gradual return to work, Insurance wants me to go back for sure and my physiotherapist, well, he's on the fence about it. He knows I still deal with almost constant daily pain and he's reluctant to just say 'yes, she's good to go'. He made sure his report indicated my pain issues and physical limitations such as sitting tolerance <30 minutes. The problem is my employer. I went in last week with my doctor's note indicating I can start my ease-back on January 23rd. HR made it clear that they still have to find a project that will accept my return gradually. I got the impression this search isn't going very well. We have one major client that has changed the way we work - no more working from home, EVER and weeks of full time training that I could not possibly do right now.
I don't know what happens with insurance if work refuses to accommodate a gradual return, they've been balking at this idea since it was first mentioned. Will insurance insist I have to try doing full time or will my doctor's note trump that as it clearly states I can start 'ease-back' Jan. 23rd? This is where I'm stumped and unsure how this might play out. But as I said, I'm not really worried about it. even if my insurance dumped me and work let me go I'd survive. I can still apply for government disability, its not as much money but my meds would be covered 100% instead of just 75% which would save me about $200 a month. Also.... well, I've got it all running through my head but its too jumbled up to get it out clearly. But suffice to say I've thought about all possible scenarios and I WILL SURVIVE
Replies
Dear Lisa,
Your totally correct. Despite whatever will happen you will survive and I bet thrive... Knowing this fact, let the chips fall as they might and do not waste time being worried. The knowledge that you will survive no matter what trumps all outcomes. Eric
Sorry you don\'t have the freedom just to discover what works best for you, as far as returning to work goes. It seems the other parties involved have their own agendas... and they don\'t rate \"what is best for you\" anywhere near the top of their priority lists. Sounds like work and the ins co might be going to bump heads... so yes it\'ll be very interesting how it pans out!
The most important thing off all is that you most certainly are a survivor girl! Just as long as you will be able to \"get by\" while waiting on Disability payment to be approved. I don\'t know anything about the Canadian Social Security system... but I\'ve learnt from my time on DS that the US system is heartless and inhumane, but you don\'t sound panicked about the prospect of going on Disability, so maybe your system is a better one, like ours here is. I certainly hope so!!
Anyway, I just really hope that whatever the end result is, it will turn out to be the best outcome for you. Hugs... Gaye... xxx