yesterday...

Yesterday was such a rotten day.... I cried 1/2 way to work (hour drive)and was just overwhelmingly sad. I was feeling horribly guilty and every song on my cd made me sadder or brought up another bad feeling. I usually sing along in the car and maroon five really unravelled me.... "every night I cry myself to sleep, thinking why does this happen to me, why does every moment have to be so hard..... give me one more chance to make it right" Those were the only lines was hearing but every song seemed sad and this is a cd I made of songs I like (when I'm in a good mood). Work was not busy so it gave me too much time to brood; not good. though I did have some good chats with the ladies on my team. Its nice to be working with women again, on my last team I was the only woman on a team of 19 and I was older than all but 1 man on my team. Work... that will have to be another journal entry. So when I got home from work I had to finish the dishes my daughter started and then I didn't feel like cooking dinner so I just ate some leftover rice. I had to get out of the house so I decided to go visit my youngest sister. She wasn't home so I drove by my other sister's house - I was sure she was working but she was home so I went in. We sat and drank wine and talked from 7 pm until midnight at least. We have both gone through major life changes, the end of long term relationships, our father is dying of cancer, our mother isn't able to handle him, we both have financial problems, hate our jobs and our lot in life.  We had plenty to talk and gripe about and she was living far away for 20 years so we are just getting close in the last year. Well I drank way too much wine, got home way too late for a work night and then called my boyfriend to talk... we usually always talk at bedtime and he knew I was at her place all evening. He's a night-owl anyway so I knew he'd be up at 12:30 when i called. We talked for an hour then I was out like a light. This morning my alarm went at 6:30 and without really thinking about it I shut it off and fell back to sleep. I woke at 8:45, late for work and feeling like crap. Luckily I have the option to work from home so I wrote an email to all my bosses and explained I had overslept and would work from home. I just got feeling sicker and sicker as the morning went on... my own doing but it does't change the fact that I feel like shit. Just now I wrote again and said I was sick and was going back to bed which is where I am now. I haven't drank that much in a long long time... I never get a hangover and I'm not even convinced that's what's wrong today. I don't have a headache, I was not 'dry' when I woke up but my stomach is very upset and I'm exhausted, even feeling a bit of chills. My team lead is also out sick today with a stomach bug, maybe we both picked it up at work yesterday. I don't know but I am going to take a nap and hope I feel better when I wake up.