Friday!!
I am glad it's Friday. I have my Literature paper written, my speech written and practiced and my clothes for tomorrow prepared. After this journal, it's off to bed I go. We were able to put the majority of the house back in order from the remodeling today. I'm looking forward to a weekend of finishing touches on this stage and a brief break from school stress.
I had a date with the guy I've mostly been seeing on Tuesday night. We had a fun evening, as usual. The only thing I've noted so far is that we end up in limbo a lot. Apparently, neither of us are big planners/deciders. It takes a long time to decide when, where, how. After 20 minutes of deciding, we finally reach a restaurant. Then we are finishing our first drink before we have decided on which appetizer to order. After we eat, we have no clue where we are going. He's not necessarily in the mood for where we often go dance, but this is a small town and limited choices, especially on a Tuesday evening. So, we drive around until I'm wondering if we will be three towns away soon. I finally assert that we can go to the usual place, just have a couple of drinks, and then return since he's not in the mood for a full night of dancing. He did mention that I sounded a bit snippy by the time I decided this and said, well, I thought someone should make a decision. Then the place has this all the sudden new rule that men must wear collared shirts and he's not. So, this time, I immediately put out the options. Here or here. He chose one and off we went.
Everything else went smoothly. For now, I'm putting this down to the fact that although he's from here originally, he hasn't lived here in years and may not really know where to go and that I've been in relationship hell over the last many years and don't really have much of a clue myself!! I am hopeful that through my new social connections at the university that I'm trying to formulate, I might eventually have a clue as to where I prefer or don't prefer to go around here!! He will be here until at least October and so, we shall see.
I have such mixed feelings, which I know originate with the N. That if I am not proactive in planning entertainment, it is my fault. And that if I make a decision, it is my fault that it was a horrible plan. At this point I am aware of this and my main goal is to familiarize myself with what is available so that I can enjoy the things I enjoy and feel more secure with whatever decision or non-decision I'm involved with.
I had a date with the guy I've mostly been seeing on Tuesday night. We had a fun evening, as usual. The only thing I've noted so far is that we end up in limbo a lot. Apparently, neither of us are big planners/deciders. It takes a long time to decide when, where, how. After 20 minutes of deciding, we finally reach a restaurant. Then we are finishing our first drink before we have decided on which appetizer to order. After we eat, we have no clue where we are going. He's not necessarily in the mood for where we often go dance, but this is a small town and limited choices, especially on a Tuesday evening. So, we drive around until I'm wondering if we will be three towns away soon. I finally assert that we can go to the usual place, just have a couple of drinks, and then return since he's not in the mood for a full night of dancing. He did mention that I sounded a bit snippy by the time I decided this and said, well, I thought someone should make a decision. Then the place has this all the sudden new rule that men must wear collared shirts and he's not. So, this time, I immediately put out the options. Here or here. He chose one and off we went.
Everything else went smoothly. For now, I'm putting this down to the fact that although he's from here originally, he hasn't lived here in years and may not really know where to go and that I've been in relationship hell over the last many years and don't really have much of a clue myself!! I am hopeful that through my new social connections at the university that I'm trying to formulate, I might eventually have a clue as to where I prefer or don't prefer to go around here!! He will be here until at least October and so, we shall see.
I have such mixed feelings, which I know originate with the N. That if I am not proactive in planning entertainment, it is my fault. And that if I make a decision, it is my fault that it was a horrible plan. At this point I am aware of this and my main goal is to familiarize myself with what is available so that I can enjoy the things I enjoy and feel more secure with whatever decision or non-decision I'm involved with.
Replies
Big day on Friday, Raniagale. Good luck with your speech - let us know how it went! You are so organised with your clothing, etc.
re your date - it sounds that perhaps the two of you don\'t know each other well enough yet. I wonder what the dialogue was like in his head? I know that men (non-Ns!) like to protect, provide - perhaps he just wanted to provide you with a good evening and wanted you to say where you would LIKE to go. It felt like neither one of you did not want to assert anything onto the other.
The responsibility you might tend to take on for the other\'s entertainment is definitely something from the N experience. My friend was complaining to her husband about her lack of being able to do all the things she wants to - for whatever reason. His simple answer to her was: \"When did I become responsible for your social life?\" She got the message. I always remember this line when I start feeling responsible in situations I am not solely responsible for.
I\'m sure when you get to know each other better, know what the other enjoys and know what options you have, things will get better. Also, you will learn how to interact with each other when decisions need to be made.
((HUGS))
R
Hope all of this makes sense? Sounds like he may be someone to get to know better
Correction:
It felt like neither one of you wanted to assert anything onto the other.
I\'m not sure I\'m that organized (or by choice). I was late yesterday because due partially to the remodel mess the laundry is piled everywhere! So, I was trying to save myself a headache this morning :) I was actually sitting here praying my ducks actually are in a row! Because off I go!!! lol