I'm Back!!
I took a couple of weeks off from pretty much everything. Been enjoying some down time before I start the next session of summer classes and pretty much have just been completely lame and useless :)
Things have been better. I am glad to have my son out of that school. He says he will start at the new school this fall with a renewed attitude. I sure hope so!!! My daughter is excited about her next year of high school. I'm a little over half-way to getting my degrees. I find myself quite comfortable with life. I have recouped and reassessed over the past couple of weeks and have renewed strength myself for pulling us up out of this financial gutter. It helps that I was finally approved for work study at the University and can at least make enough through that to pay the main bills. With that and the dance studio, I should at least manage to shuck away $5-10 here and there into savings!!!
I'm still wanting to find more personal fulfillment and enjoyment in life and think as the finances improve, I will be able to manage more opportunities to get out of the house. I find that I am now perfectly fine without a relationship. I am truly happy. But, with the restrictive budget, there are lame times. Now that I actually feel ready to get out with renewed interest and clarity of self, I do feel a bit stuck at times. I love my quiet nights and weekends at home reading, spending time with the kids and pets...but yeah, would love to be able to go see a movie or attend the theater or an art show...or pretty much anything....at least every now and then!!!
I am letting go a little bit of the family issues. I don't truly understand where my brother is coming from. Many of his actions/reactions seem very emotionally manipulative to me. I just don't know. Maybe I'm in denial or do justify too much. And maybe not. Either way, I am in a completely different space than my brother and that's pretty much that. He sent our dad a father's day card that read, "I'm sorry I can't be with you on father's day...." It just bothered me. He completely ignored my mother on mother's day. Not even a trite card. Then sent this card that he knows she's going to see to our dad. Just seemed a bit like a slap in the face. I just found it unnecessary. Couldn't he have just said Happy Father's Day? I just find no healthiness in what seems to me to be intentionally hitting out. But, that's just my take on things. So, I have to let it go. It's not mine to carry.
Things have been better. I am glad to have my son out of that school. He says he will start at the new school this fall with a renewed attitude. I sure hope so!!! My daughter is excited about her next year of high school. I'm a little over half-way to getting my degrees. I find myself quite comfortable with life. I have recouped and reassessed over the past couple of weeks and have renewed strength myself for pulling us up out of this financial gutter. It helps that I was finally approved for work study at the University and can at least make enough through that to pay the main bills. With that and the dance studio, I should at least manage to shuck away $5-10 here and there into savings!!!
I'm still wanting to find more personal fulfillment and enjoyment in life and think as the finances improve, I will be able to manage more opportunities to get out of the house. I find that I am now perfectly fine without a relationship. I am truly happy. But, with the restrictive budget, there are lame times. Now that I actually feel ready to get out with renewed interest and clarity of self, I do feel a bit stuck at times. I love my quiet nights and weekends at home reading, spending time with the kids and pets...but yeah, would love to be able to go see a movie or attend the theater or an art show...or pretty much anything....at least every now and then!!!
I am letting go a little bit of the family issues. I don't truly understand where my brother is coming from. Many of his actions/reactions seem very emotionally manipulative to me. I just don't know. Maybe I'm in denial or do justify too much. And maybe not. Either way, I am in a completely different space than my brother and that's pretty much that. He sent our dad a father's day card that read, "I'm sorry I can't be with you on father's day...." It just bothered me. He completely ignored my mother on mother's day. Not even a trite card. Then sent this card that he knows she's going to see to our dad. Just seemed a bit like a slap in the face. I just found it unnecessary. Couldn't he have just said Happy Father's Day? I just find no healthiness in what seems to me to be intentionally hitting out. But, that's just my take on things. So, I have to let it go. It's not mine to carry.
Replies