saturday
Its 227 am.
I am avoiding sleep and I am not sure why. I do feel sick.
Why does it feel like I am taking steps backwards? I talked to him Friday and Friday night. I dont understand what I am feeling but I know I dont like it.
I just keep saying "it could be worse, it could be worse, be greatful, stop and just look at where you are and move ahead" but ahead to what?? Yes, school, work, art, physical fitness, all that stuff but for what. Whats the point? I dont feel it will complete what is missing. I dont understand it. I want to scream, I wanted to be free and I am not too far from "leagly" being free but I feel more restricted than ever by Vivian. How is this possible?
I am tired, and not because its 2 something am, I am just tired of this same stupid story. Always wanting the unatainable. So stupid. I have endless tools to better myself and I instead, I just constantly remain stagnant. Whats the point.
I am avoiding sleep and I am not sure why. I do feel sick.
Why does it feel like I am taking steps backwards? I talked to him Friday and Friday night. I dont understand what I am feeling but I know I dont like it.
I just keep saying "it could be worse, it could be worse, be greatful, stop and just look at where you are and move ahead" but ahead to what?? Yes, school, work, art, physical fitness, all that stuff but for what. Whats the point? I dont feel it will complete what is missing. I dont understand it. I want to scream, I wanted to be free and I am not too far from "leagly" being free but I feel more restricted than ever by Vivian. How is this possible?
I am tired, and not because its 2 something am, I am just tired of this same stupid story. Always wanting the unatainable. So stupid. I have endless tools to better myself and I instead, I just constantly remain stagnant. Whats the point.
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