ugh

this week was nuts.  a friend of mine passed away on friday which made me feel that i really need to live for today and not wait (like the way i always have been doing) but there are other things in my life that i dont like.  I hate to sound  ungreatful   but i am annoyed and feel this very deep anger towards my best friend.  i guess it has been on going but she just really annoys the shit out of me.  i dont know why.  i cant place my finger on it.  is she even really my best friend if i cant stand her and am only around her out of habit? i want a gap with her, i hate the way i feel angry at the fact that i know she only knows what she does because of ME ....see that is so immature to think.  also i  hate that kid from school who is in my life, he makes me feel like a dirty whore and i resent him for that.  i dont want to talk to them for a while, the kid maybe not at all.  why does this happen.  i dont want to be a shitty or envious person.  uuuugh