I had a hard time falling asleep last night - I don't think I actually went to sleep until 5. But I made myself get up at 1:30 - to keep to the 9 hours max rule.
I was on the phone with my brother for a while. He was really upset about his girlfriend's uncle - who is suffering from a bad bout with depression. He seemed to be particularly upset that the uncle, who is staying with his sister, has someone to fall back on so it seems he isn't working hard enough to make it. My brother seems to think that if the uncle had no fall back position, he would be scared into working or doing more. I felt like I had to set my brother straight... People (like us) with severe clinical depression cannot function properly and often don't have the motivation to. My brother kept saying that when he was depressed, he got better because our sister pushed him into getting up each day and getting into a schedule. I told him that may have worked for him, but what works for one person doesn't always work for another. On top of which, since he's been through all he's been through, he should really have more compassion for this uncle. Sigh. It's disheartening that even someone who has suffered from depression has trouble seeing how hard it is for those who are still depressed. I guess I'm a little upset because he got so worked up with his ideas of how this uncle could be helped - as if it's such an easy solution. I was probably projecting his judgments on to myself...like if I didn't have my fiance, I wouldn't have anywhere to live, so I'd have to try harder. I know that's not what my brother said, and I'm not even sure if that's what he thinks, but that's what it made me think. And it makes me feel bad to think he would think the same of me.
Anyway, I know I am just taking something personally that had nothing to do with me. I advised him to take a step back from the situation and realize he can only be there for his girlfriend...that he can't solve all of the family's problems and that what she needs from him as a boyfriend is to just listen and be supportive; no matter how frustrating it is to hear the same problem over and over again. I think he understood what I was saying.
I am going to try and get out for my daily walk. It's sunny but a bit cooler today... I'm a bit anxious about going out on my own, but I am going to try to make it two days in a row.
I was on the phone with my brother for a while. He was really upset about his girlfriend's uncle - who is suffering from a bad bout with depression. He seemed to be particularly upset that the uncle, who is staying with his sister, has someone to fall back on so it seems he isn't working hard enough to make it. My brother seems to think that if the uncle had no fall back position, he would be scared into working or doing more. I felt like I had to set my brother straight... People (like us) with severe clinical depression cannot function properly and often don't have the motivation to. My brother kept saying that when he was depressed, he got better because our sister pushed him into getting up each day and getting into a schedule. I told him that may have worked for him, but what works for one person doesn't always work for another. On top of which, since he's been through all he's been through, he should really have more compassion for this uncle. Sigh. It's disheartening that even someone who has suffered from depression has trouble seeing how hard it is for those who are still depressed. I guess I'm a little upset because he got so worked up with his ideas of how this uncle could be helped - as if it's such an easy solution. I was probably projecting his judgments on to myself...like if I didn't have my fiance, I wouldn't have anywhere to live, so I'd have to try harder. I know that's not what my brother said, and I'm not even sure if that's what he thinks, but that's what it made me think. And it makes me feel bad to think he would think the same of me.
Anyway, I know I am just taking something personally that had nothing to do with me. I advised him to take a step back from the situation and realize he can only be there for his girlfriend...that he can't solve all of the family's problems and that what she needs from him as a boyfriend is to just listen and be supportive; no matter how frustrating it is to hear the same problem over and over again. I think he understood what I was saying.
I am going to try and get out for my daily walk. It's sunny but a bit cooler today... I'm a bit anxious about going out on my own, but I am going to try to make it two days in a row.
Replies