Another day where the daylight has gone way too early. It's chilly and I think the last of the warm days are definitely gone for the year.
I've been having trouble getting up lately. Not so much that I am hiding out like I do when I'm very depressed, but just super tired. I wonder if the higher dose of Cymbalta is contributing to my fatigue. Of course when I don't get up early enough, I don't take the Nuvigil because I'm afraid it will keep me up too late into the evening hours.
I am trying to psyche myself up to go on a walk tonight when my fiance comes home since I haven't gone in a few days. I felt really achy and crampy the other day and yesterday it was raining. It's hard to get going once you're out of the rhythm but I think I should do it.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling lately. I don't feel necessarily as sad or anxious, but I feel bad that I haven't been getting out of bed. I guess I don't feel like I know what to do with myself when I'm awake.
I made it through a mountain of dishes just now, which is sort of a huge accomplishment. Generally, when the mountain gets that high, it makes me sick to look at it and I just turn around and walk in the other direction. I managed to put dishes away too. Woo hoo for small tasks completed.
It was sunny today and I feel badly that I didn't go outside. It would have been a good day to try and do that on my own. The possible lunch date downtown didn't work out because my fiance had a lunch meeting. It's ok. I wasn't up and at 'em earlier anyway.
Why is it so hard to keep going sometimes? I know it's because I'm depressed, but keep wondering when things will get better. I suppose they're somewhat better than they were but again, it's hard to tell how I'm doing when I'm going through it.
When I feel like this, I wonder if I want to be better enough. Whatever that means. I know I don't want to feel like this - like I'm in a bubble watching my life go by, but I also don't quite know what to do to make it better. Then I circle around and start to feel bad about things like not having gotten up earlier and not having left the house... I know it's counter productive to get down on myself about these things, so I'll try to stay positive. I'll just keep pushing through the little things, like getting some dishes done...
I've been having trouble getting up lately. Not so much that I am hiding out like I do when I'm very depressed, but just super tired. I wonder if the higher dose of Cymbalta is contributing to my fatigue. Of course when I don't get up early enough, I don't take the Nuvigil because I'm afraid it will keep me up too late into the evening hours.
I am trying to psyche myself up to go on a walk tonight when my fiance comes home since I haven't gone in a few days. I felt really achy and crampy the other day and yesterday it was raining. It's hard to get going once you're out of the rhythm but I think I should do it.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling lately. I don't feel necessarily as sad or anxious, but I feel bad that I haven't been getting out of bed. I guess I don't feel like I know what to do with myself when I'm awake.
I made it through a mountain of dishes just now, which is sort of a huge accomplishment. Generally, when the mountain gets that high, it makes me sick to look at it and I just turn around and walk in the other direction. I managed to put dishes away too. Woo hoo for small tasks completed.
It was sunny today and I feel badly that I didn't go outside. It would have been a good day to try and do that on my own. The possible lunch date downtown didn't work out because my fiance had a lunch meeting. It's ok. I wasn't up and at 'em earlier anyway.
Why is it so hard to keep going sometimes? I know it's because I'm depressed, but keep wondering when things will get better. I suppose they're somewhat better than they were but again, it's hard to tell how I'm doing when I'm going through it.
When I feel like this, I wonder if I want to be better enough. Whatever that means. I know I don't want to feel like this - like I'm in a bubble watching my life go by, but I also don't quite know what to do to make it better. Then I circle around and start to feel bad about things like not having gotten up earlier and not having left the house... I know it's counter productive to get down on myself about these things, so I'll try to stay positive. I'll just keep pushing through the little things, like getting some dishes done...
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