not good

I didn't feel so bad going to sleep last night, but really didn't want to wake up today. As it is, I sleep late, but when I woke up, I just fought the urge to get out of bed and stayed in bed for an extra two hours. Now I feel really bad about it. 
The weather is pretty cloudy and ugly today, the sun from the beginning of the week is gone and I think whatever remnants of nice weather are gone for the year. This probably doesn't help.
I feel a little anxious but I'm not sure why. There are a few things I'm supposed to take care of and I know that I had been planning to go back to work this coming week. The problem is that I haven't done the scheduling I need to in order to go back to work. I don't feel ready. I feel pressure to do it since I've been putting it off for so long. And my fiance is taking off of work the coming week to help me go back to work. He offered to come along with me on some jobs so I don't have to do it along. I think he hopes the momentum will keep me going.
It's just a lot of pressure that I'm feeling and I don't feel ready. Especially not at the moment.
I woke up late so didn't take the Nuvigil today. I'm sure that isn't helping. Sigh. How can one day be so much better than the next one and why can't things just steadily gradually feel better rather than having setbacks? I know these are useless questions. Just need to get it out there.
I think I feel bad today because of the pressure of what I'm supposed to be doing the coming week and because I don't feel ready. I don't know what to do. I will try to be rational about it and take it one thing at a time.
I didn't want to get out of bed, but I did, so that's a positive. Even though I'm just killing time, I think it's a positive that I'm writing in the journal to try and straighten out my thoughts. I reached out and called a family member because I was feeling so lonely. That's something. 
I will try not to go back to bed. I will try not to wallow in the negative. I will try.