Today I woke up crying again. I haven't done that for awhile, but on occasion I still do. I drove Eddie to work the day before he passed & I said you better go, you have three minutes (three minutes before he had to be in). I couldve have 3 more minutes with him & now I'll never get that back. He said, "Love you" as we always do & I said, "Love you too." That was the last time I saw him alive.
Today is rough. Who knows why today is worse than other days? When we were away, Ken's, (fiance) sister said when we were talking about saying love you to people when we leave them & how I learned to do that from my son & thank God I did since that was the last time I saw him, she said to me, "Why is that necessary,isn't it implied?" She has 2 grown children, a son & a daughter who thank God are in good health. I said, "well it becomes pretty important when you'll never see them again in this life." I am truly amazed that people dont try & be a bit more sensitive, but I know only people that have lost children truly understand & I wouldn't wish this torment on any mom or dad. She did make me cry though with her words, but it is just out of ignorance. Most people really aren't trying to be cruel. That said, still hurts.
Thank goodness I have my friends here to vent to. It does help & helps me to hold onto my sanity.
Eddie, I love you forever & think of you every minute. DEar Heavenly Father, Please tell Eddie I love him. In Jesus name.
Today is rough. Who knows why today is worse than other days? When we were away, Ken's, (fiance) sister said when we were talking about saying love you to people when we leave them & how I learned to do that from my son & thank God I did since that was the last time I saw him, she said to me, "Why is that necessary,isn't it implied?" She has 2 grown children, a son & a daughter who thank God are in good health. I said, "well it becomes pretty important when you'll never see them again in this life." I am truly amazed that people dont try & be a bit more sensitive, but I know only people that have lost children truly understand & I wouldn't wish this torment on any mom or dad. She did make me cry though with her words, but it is just out of ignorance. Most people really aren't trying to be cruel. That said, still hurts.
Thank goodness I have my friends here to vent to. It does help & helps me to hold onto my sanity.
Eddie, I love you forever & think of you every minute. DEar Heavenly Father, Please tell Eddie I love him. In Jesus name.
Replies
Linda, i agree with you about how important saying \"I love you\" is. My Mom was not a very demonstrative person. She wasn\'t a hugger or a toucher, and she very seldom ever said I love you to us. So, when I had Robin and Tara, it was so, so important to me to tell them that I loved them. I guess I knew that my Mom loved me, but it would have meant the world to me to hear her actually say it. It is important, I know from how I felt. Our kids may not even give it concious thought that we say it, but I beleive, in their souls, it matters.
Love to you! Kathie
It does matter that we convey our love as best we can. I hurt for the moms who did not have the opportunity to say those words before their child passed, but it is also how all of us loved our kids on a daily basis even when that meant discipline. I believe our children all know we love them & will through eternity. Love to all of you my friends. My rough day got a little easier yesterday due to all of you & I appreciate it.
The last word do resonate. The one thing that stands out for me is the words \" baby steps mom\". Those word ring in my ears all the time when I get on my high horse .
My youngest son alwasy says I love you when he ends a conversation and I have mixed feelings about that. I like the words but I also feel when we say them all the time as a habit it does not register from the heart. Just like the Lords prayer people ramble it off in church but are they internalizing the words???? Anyways just my thoughts ...Hugs, Inga
Linda, those words have always been important to me and my family. We always tell each other. The morning that Chris died, we had a little argument about his room being messy (which still bothers me to this day that I focused on something that now seems so petty), but before I left the house I hugged him and said I love you. He said \"I love you too mom\". I am grateful that we both spoke those 3 little words. Hugs, Kim
I too believe those words are important, but if we hadn\'t said them the last time I know Eddie knew I loved him. I feel that it was a gift that I got to say those words, but I know that for some people it wasn\'t the case. It so funny Inga, my son used to say, \"Baby steps mom, baby steps.\" too. For me it was usually when I was nagging him about his smoking. He\'d smile & we\'d laugh. In the context of Eddie saying it I think it was his kind way of saying, \"Enough already, mom.\" His smoking always concerned me & he did pass at 37 from cardiac arrest. Sometimes I regret not nagging him more, but as my grief counselor says it may have turned into some pretty ugly arguments & thank God we really didn\'t argue over it. I, like all of us moms just wish I could\'ve stopped what happened. I do have to try & let go of it though. Hugs, Linda
The words are so important. I always took for granted that my kids knew it though. I didn\'t tell Matt I loved him the night before he died. He had stopped in and I was busy with grandkids and I yelled in to him a goodbye. I would give anything to have that night back. I did tell him at the hospital as I held his hand. The doctors said they thought he might be able to hear me...but I will never know. It is very important to a mom to know her child knows her love for them. I like to belive that Matt knew my love by the sacrifices I gladly made for him as his mom. And by the things I did for him and with him. But I will always wish I had said those words more.