Today I woke up crying again. I haven't done that for awhile, but on occasion I still do. I drove Eddie to work the day before he passed & I said you better go, you have three minutes (three minutes before he had to be in). I couldve have 3 more minutes with him & now I'll never get that back. He said, "Love you" as we always do & I said, "Love you too." That was the last time I saw him alive.
Today is rough. Who knows why today is worse than other days? When we were away, Ken's, (fiance) sister said when we were talking about saying love you to people when we leave them & how I learned to do that from my son & thank God I did since that was the last time I saw him, she said to me, "Why is that necessary,isn't it implied?" She has 2 grown children, a son & a daughter who thank God are in good health. I said, "well it becomes pretty important when you'll never see them again in this life." I am truly amazed that people dont try & be a bit more sensitive, but I know only people that have lost children truly understand & I wouldn't wish this torment on any mom or dad. She did make me cry though with her words, but it is just out of ignorance. Most people really aren't trying to be cruel. That said, still hurts.
Thank goodness I have my friends here to vent to. It does help & helps me to hold onto my sanity.
Eddie, I love you forever & think of you every minute. DEar Heavenly Father, Please tell Eddie I love him. In Jesus name.
Today is rough. Who knows why today is worse than other days? When we were away, Ken's, (fiance) sister said when we were talking about saying love you to people when we leave them & how I learned to do that from my son & thank God I did since that was the last time I saw him, she said to me, "Why is that necessary,isn't it implied?" She has 2 grown children, a son & a daughter who thank God are in good health. I said, "well it becomes pretty important when you'll never see them again in this life." I am truly amazed that people dont try & be a bit more sensitive, but I know only people that have lost children truly understand & I wouldn't wish this torment on any mom or dad. She did make me cry though with her words, but it is just out of ignorance. Most people really aren't trying to be cruel. That said, still hurts.
Thank goodness I have my friends here to vent to. It does help & helps me to hold onto my sanity.
Eddie, I love you forever & think of you every minute. DEar Heavenly Father, Please tell Eddie I love him. In Jesus name.
Replies
Oh, dear KandL,
I am so with you on this. Today is my lost son\'s birthday, the first on since he passed. I cried all night, gut-wrenching sobs...
And you are SO right about saying I love you before anyone leaves. I hope you don\'t my saying this, but the woman who said what she did, was SO,SO, insensitive. I just can\'t handle people like that and I have a really hard time forgiving them.
All my prayers go out to you too, in Jesus\' name, dear sister in Christ. Love and hugs, Laurienne
Doug (and Matt) I always said \"I Love You\" at the end of every phone conversation or when leaving the house. They will say it on there own. I can\'t remember my last words to Doug, but I know at some point in that last day I said it to him. I find comfort in the fact that we both knew how much we loved each other and were loved. No regrets. Love and hugs, Sue
Such simple words ~ \"I love you\" ~ so important. I\'m sorry your friend was so insensitive. May today bring a few smiles to you.
Sending love and hugs ~ Debbie
I agree - such simple words as \"I love you\" or as my son always said to me \"love you\" or \"love you mom\" - his last text to me the night he died was \"luv u\" - these words are important cause as we all know - you don\'t know what tomorrow brings and we aren\'t promised tomorrow. I\'m sorry about the insensitivity to you - that makes your feelings hurt worse. Not that it makes life better for us - but to know that our kids knew we loved them when they left this earth - I take some comfort in that.
Lots of love and hugs to you!
~Sandi
I agree having a place to vent is a life saver. That is just one of the reasons I love this site. I am sorry that she made you sad...people just do not know how hurtful their words can be. Take care...love and hugs...Karen
Thank you to all of you for your support,kindness & love. I appreciate it & it means more than you know. As my Eddie said, \"Love you!\"
Mitch was my \" I love you Mama\" boy. It didn\'t matter who was around he was going to tell me he loved me- those were the last words he said to me the night before he was killed. It truly amazes me how ignorant people can be with their words... they have no idea how much they hurt and when someone hurts us our of their ignorance it means so much to be able to share that pain with our friends here at FMO . Remember we are here for you. Love, Mitchells mom
I know you are all with me & that helps. What a gift it is to me to know that the last words Eddie & I said to each other was \"love you.\" If we didn\'t it doesn\'t negate all the love & the close bond we had for all his life, but I am so grateful that we did say those words. It was one of the few things that gave me any comfort when I first lost him. I hope & pray I would never add to anyone\'s pain, even unintentionally. Hugs to all.
People just surprise me some times.....I think those words...\"Love you\"....are important to us moms.....I had a hard time remembering if I had said that to my son the last time he called, which was that morning.......of course, I did and my daughter reminded me that I did say it...she heard me. It meant so much to me to know that it was my last words to my precious boy. Love you....dale, brandon\'s mom
Dale, you are so right. Those words are so important. My poor daughter in law\'s Dad, (who was a very troubled man) was murdered 5 years ago. Her last words to him were in an argument 2 days prior & were unkind. She told me about their argument right after his funeral & her guilt that went along with it. I took her by the shoulders & said, \"Elaine, don\'t you dare think that one moment in time, a few words said in anger define the kind of daughter you were to your father. It does not negate the fact that you loved him, took him in when he needed a place to stay & it does not define your relationship.\" (God gave me those words because they helped her). I treasure those words I said to Eddie & my heart went out to my daughter in law as she thought of those last words to her father, but I know her Dad knew she loved him. How much harder is it though if your last words are not tender? I am so blessed mine were tender to my beloved Eddie.
It is so comforting to be able to know those were the last words. I came from a family that never said those three words out loud, but my sons and I always did...ALWAYS. I\'m comforted and still have the last text message that Mike sent to me just 6 hours before his accident...Love you too Mom...sweet dreams. I look at it quite often. Love and hugs to you, Valerie
It is harder, my last conversation with Matthew was an argument. I\'m not an arguer, I\'m not a confrontational person, he was the one spewing cruelty and anger, and although he was yelling and cussing, I did end the conversation with those words, don\'t recall hearing them back that once and I do constantly hope and pray he knows how much I love him, but it definitely makes grief harder. I\'m happy those were your last words to each other. Love and prayers, Lynette ~ Matthews mom
Lynette, I believe he knows. Your love was & is constant. I know, especially when Eddie was younger, how we could\'ve been engaged in an argument at any given time. I believe our boys have God\'s wisdom now & he knew & knows now how much you love him. Love to you as well. Linda
Our children knew we love them. I too always ended every conversation with Mark with I Love You Son. He didn\'t always answer in the same vein but I know he loved me. Such simple words that convey such depth of feelings. Sandi
Those were the last words spoken between me and my son too. I will always treasure and take comfort knowing my son knew how much he was loved. I\'m happy you got to say and hear those special words. Love to you. Robin