Better Day
Day 88 of 365 - Man Break
So today feels a lot better. First, even though I was feeling down I made myself do things. I worked out and went to the library with my son and got some banking done. I realize that just moping around is not going to help.
It is hard for me to change. I am so down on myself that sometimes if feels better not to say or do anything that upsets other people. It just seems easier that way even though I am being treated in a bad way.
I have been trying to stand up for myself in the last couple months and it has led to one co-worker who hates me and two lost friendships. So you would think that it's not the prudent thing to do and then I realize that I felt better sharing my feelings even if people didn't like them. I also found out who my real friends were. I want to continue on this assertive path. I have let others dissuade me and that is not good. I am just not interested in being treated "less than" anymore. I'm tired of people doing shitty things and then expecting no repercussions from them. I'm tired of controlling people.
I'm working on getting into a better head space. It is my pattern to beat up on myself. That's what I have to change. I want more confidence. I want to really believe that my needs are as important as others.
So today feels a lot better. First, even though I was feeling down I made myself do things. I worked out and went to the library with my son and got some banking done. I realize that just moping around is not going to help.
It is hard for me to change. I am so down on myself that sometimes if feels better not to say or do anything that upsets other people. It just seems easier that way even though I am being treated in a bad way.
I have been trying to stand up for myself in the last couple months and it has led to one co-worker who hates me and two lost friendships. So you would think that it's not the prudent thing to do and then I realize that I felt better sharing my feelings even if people didn't like them. I also found out who my real friends were. I want to continue on this assertive path. I have let others dissuade me and that is not good. I am just not interested in being treated "less than" anymore. I'm tired of people doing shitty things and then expecting no repercussions from them. I'm tired of controlling people.
I'm working on getting into a better head space. It is my pattern to beat up on myself. That's what I have to change. I want more confidence. I want to really believe that my needs are as important as others.
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