Tired

Day 13 of 365 - Man Break
I'm exhausted today.  It just seems I'm always running around doing things for the kids and working.  I never seem to have any time to myself.  My son was giving me grief tonight and I lost my cool which I haven't done for a long time.  I just get so tired to doing it by myself sometimes.  Tonight I just wanted to veg and watch TV which I never do and I spent the whole night arguing with him.
I'm afraid I'm doing everything wrong and I'll taint him for life. 
These are the times when I get so angry at his father.  I want to punch him and kick him where it hurts.  How is it that he just screws off and leaves all this responsibility to me?  Not that I really want him in their lives.  He's a narcissitic asshole but I just want a break.  I want this huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  Just for a night.  No scratch that - maybe a week.  But still it isn't fair that he gets to go on with life as usual while I do all the work.  I just want to scream in his face! 
I feel so angry right now.  I feel angry so much.  ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Progress, not perfection!!! You sound like a great mom and being a single mom is an exhausting and thankless job. But the end result will be worth it.

I am grateful that the sperm donor is out of the picture. Lord knows what kind of toxic effect he would be having on their personality development. In the long run, it has worked out best for your children if it has been very difficult for you.

Maybe in our next life, we will get to live off the coast of Italy in a house full of servants to make up for this life ;)
arat38
arat38

:) yes Susy ... servants sound wonderful! And you are right I am glad their father isn\'t around to poison them with his horrible behavior and ideas. Now that I know about narcissism I know he is not going to change and they need a much better role model around than that!!!!!