Ups and downs

I am so blessed being able to enjoy day to day life with my hubby, who has been doing well since recovering from hip surgery.  Some days I completely forget about the cancer, and other days that's all I can think of.   The other night he said he was feeling pain again in his lower back, near his hip where the original metastasis was found.  He's wondering if they will do more radiation for pain control.  Not a bad idea, but then I start thinking about how they will need to so a scan to determine where to radiate, and I just DON'T want to know if the tumor has grown!  But of course it has, because he's not on any treatment to slow the growth of the tumor.   I just need to remember to live each day, to love each day and appreciate each day.  I'll try to do that!