food journal, broth, green powder, msm caps, avocado, carrots, onion, tea, advil, mucinex, lara bar, prunes, apple, spaghetti. I am very happy to be in my new one bedroom apartment. well, not new, I mean, there was some dust left behind in odd places I wasn't happy to discover but anyway there is no roommate and it gets lonely sometimes but I am rediscovering music and definitely getting over a bad cold much faster than I would have b/c I have full access to the kitchen and am constantly cooking up healthy eats and drinks but the flipside is I have to clean up the mess. I am totally bored today. Used to having to work all day at my boring job now I am home for the weekend which I love weekends but there is a foot of snow outside, the first snow, and am I appreciating the beauty? yes, but would I rather be able to drive somewhere wish I had a hobby wish i knew how to knit and had the tools I tried to learn once and just could n't get it I tried to draw for a little while did yoga for half a minute man is it hard to focus and do that did lots of cleaning earlier when i had a burst of energy i think from the healthy food got a little tired and hungry arouind three which is when i broke down and ate sugar but it made my headache more in fact i did not have much of a headache before that no cofee maker to make a cofee enema watched a movie after talking on the phone a little. oh that reminds me, well i will finish writing so if i had a ton of energy i would go out and dig my car out but they haven't even plowed the parking lot yet was going to go out to dinner with family but we all canceled i have some beautiful flowers here trying to always see beauty and be thankul watched the secret the other day and oprah and reading some decent books would like to get more but i'm on a strict budget so thankful for how my life has changed though so thankful i have bought some things that have made me really happy i have duginto my savings but needed to to get some furniture and now i will not have to spend as much in spring or this time next year or years after that i probably will be able to stay here for two years maybe more who knows got to deal with the loneliess thing with music. the cds bring womens voices in, yes, they always say the same thing but so did my past roommates lol and they don't bring a long a mess, granted they don't clean either but i do while i am listening to them and they don't take up half the fridge space- i have never had so much space! cabinet space bathroom space closet space living room space, i have so much space, everything here is mine and much of it is beautiful i am proud of the job i have done the effort i have put in to organizing and cleaning and arranging and rearranging and reorganzing and throwing stuff out and cleaning and going to work and going shopping and reading adn watching tv listening to music talking on the phone on the internet working. searching the internet. ok, missy elliott back on. never really opened up to this album but now that i am i think i could be safe with it. yes, i feel threatened by a damn cd in my apartment. so strange. i don't know why, i guess b/c she is so forceful and kind of dirty, but i claim to be a feminist and have done and thought many of the things she talks about, so this could be a breakthru for me, oh yeah, and had a capful of vodka at three. you know, i refuse to be sad with cabin fever. me and missy will sip some stuff and i dunno, do yoga or maybe i'll be motivated to clean some more or finish my ironing. i couldn't believe it, i was ironing. motivated to iron. well, usually i just get clothes right out the dryer and they are already flat if i lay them up right away. damn i'm faded, scuse me i love that line. gettin really happy with this music lol. you know whwat i need, an ironing roommate. things are always easier for me when i live with and watch a roommate with good habits, so many of the things i'm proud i'm able to do, like cooking, cleaning, generaly taking care of myself, i have learned from watching, or become more comfortable with by living with a roommate that comfortably has those habits and does those things. imagine what i could learn by living with a raw foodist, or an author, or a filmaker, a politician, and athlete, a music artist, an artist, so many things. wow, I really love this album, why on earth don't i listen to it more? why don't i listen to music when i get up anymore, like i did when i had a roommate last month, i've almost been late to work lately b/c i hit snooze all the time. b/c my roommate, i didn't want her to think i was lazy, and i had to be out of the bathroom by the time she got up. i can admit it. it is nice being able to hit snooze, and not do dishes until exactly when i want, but it is so motivating to do dishes when you live with a neat freak, and kinda nice. like, i'm looking at my dishes now and i'm like, i know i won't do them till tomorrow, but if i had a roommate, i would respect her space and get them done, i mean i can see them from this desk, and my desk is right nex tot the kitchen, why don't i respect my own space and get them clean? it isn't like there that dirty or smell, but they are cluttered. definitely cluttered. and sinc ethey are not that dirty it would be easy to clean them, just a rub of the wand and place int he rack. fill the rack. yeah. i found my needle and thread. when i'm done writing i think i'll do stuff. so i'll just have to keep writing all night, lol.yep. i tried writing earlyier was it today or yesterday . today and the day before were all the same b/c i stayed off work to get over a cold and try to do a broth fast but i haven't accomplisehd that b/c i get too hungry achy and depressed for real