i am so done with giving up. i am so done with not doing, not caring, not living. its so exhausting to be this damn lazy, this noncompliant, this complacent. its so exhausting. ive refused to clean my house. ive refused to make appts. ive refused to plan my future medical insurance. ive refused to plan for my future. i flipped a switch some years ago; i have a very vivid memory of it. it was at brooke park. i flipped the switch to "i'm not doin it anymore. im not doin nothing! i refuse to care anymore. im done." but now, i'm done bein done. i wanna pick it all up again and be alive. it killed me to be that way... i just gotta dig for tht motivation. it aint gonna b easy =)