complete and utter lack of emotion. no true happiness. no true love. no true pride. no true joy.
i was a burden. i was unwanted.
i was never made to clean up my toys or dishes. i was made to believe i was not able to do anything on my own. i was completely useless. i only took up space. i had no importance.
my mother didn't want me. she hid it behind smiles.
because of my fuzzy memory banks: i believe my mother had told me, as an adult, something about, not having children because i shouldn't bring a child into this world that may have diabetes.