it's funny. since i decided that it's over, that i'm done, i feel more free. i feel more myself. i feel happier. i feel a burden has been lifted. i almost feel more love towards him. i feel i appreciate him more. but at the same time, i feel like i can't live with him anymore. i can't stand the every day, day-to-day with him. it really brings me down.
we went to the movies the other night. i was looking forward to going out, seeing an interesting movie, seeing what goes on between us. there was actually an argument of sorts, but we moved past that. i didn't want to hold onto it and ruin our night, and he also got past it as well. it felt good to get out. i also did not put any pressure or expectations on myself, as i usually do when we go out. i just went out with the expectation of enjoying myself, no matter what might've been said between us. and it was really great! i think i enjoyed the night so much, because in my mind, we were separate.