i've always been passive, and agreed with whatever he said, and went along with whatever he said, and went along with "what we're supposed to do." now that i am more assertive, and confident, i see that i've been just pretending. pretending to love him, pretending to be happy, pretending that he's the one for me, pretending to want to marry him. just pretending. now i'm honest with myself, and i don't want to be with him. I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM.