My Life
I have decided to talk a little about myself. So that you will know me
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
Replies
Deanna, Your story has touched me and please don\'t worry about what people think.....we all have a past and made some choices we probably would not make today. I can relate to parts of your life and no person should ever be subjected to abuse of any kind. Everyone here at DS has a story and all are different...the thing is we are here for each other. Sometimes we go through hardships until we find our true soul mate and the one that was meant just for us. Kenny was yours and I am so sorry you had such a short time together. Healing is hard and please know I\'m here to talk or give a hug anytime you need it! Blessings and Hugsxxxx Bonnie
DEANNA,
JUST READ YOUR JOURNAL TODAY. YOU ARE A SPECIAL LADY AND YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM THE BOOK OF LIFE. MY HEART FEELS FOR YOU, FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN YOUR LIFE. I THINK WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY. YOU KNOW HOW TO REALLY FEEL FOR PEOPLE IN A WAY THAT OTHERS CAN NOT. YOU HAVE WALKED MANY ROADS TO BRING YOU TO WHO YOU ARE TODAY. A LOVING AND GENTLE PERSON WITH A HEART OF COMPASSION TO LOVE OTHERS AS JESUS LOVES. YOU, DEANNA, ARE A SPECIAL LADY THAT HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK AGAIN. YOU MY DEAR ARE A TRUE CHRISTIAN, YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE FIRES AND NOW CAN WALK AS YOU WALK WITH LOVE IN YOUR HEART FOR OTHERS. I AM TOUCHED TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
BLADDER CANCER SUCKS, AS HOME ALSO PASSED WITH THAT. ONLY THING IS HE HAD TRUST ISSUES, AND DID NOT LET DOCS HELP HIM AND THEN WHEN HE WAS READY TO LET DOCS HELP HIM, IT WAS TOO LATE.
THE LORD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU EACH DAY DEANNA.
(((WARM GENTLE HUGS)))
RECENTWIDOW
Greetings Deanna...
WE all have a story to share. I have a story also that would include many things that are unconventional to many. I have My other than now Harley Davidson Biker and Blues Singer days before I was sober. THANK goodness that our earthly experiences do not define who WE truly are in heart. Or I would be a mere outcast to everyone. I am sure your heart understands! I see and heart your true heart Deanna...
The heart tells a story that earthly experiences cannot speak of. THANK you for pouring your heart out in a manner that gives me a glimpse into your true heart. I am NOT shocked whatsoever! More like Honored by demonstration of your trust!
Now that is beautiful Deanna! Do not ever forget that My tenderhearted lady Friend! (grins)
(((HUGS)))
Your Nde man Friend
BEAR
Deanna..
No ones life is without hardships along the way. We all have a story to tell.
No one is judging you my friend. All that is in the past and my heart breaks that when you found true love you lost him so soon. I certainly am not shocked as I have a niece living a similar life that you have already endured only she has not found a good man yet.
hugs,
Cie
The only thing I would change is the title, to \"My Life So Far\" It is a bitter sweet love story but the love you gave made it sweet. I am so glad you had Kenny to love you back. Still you continue to give. I am honored to know you and thank you for sharing your story.
well hun I feel for you and I am glad you found your Man that was a very nice person. I am sorry about your hubbies death. I will pray for you and maybe you will find love again. You keep up your happiness with your children. I too have had a terrible life. I will be thinking of you dear one.