This may sound horrible to those of you who don't know me. But I have noticed that everytime I talk to someone in my family I become sad and want to kill myself.
I didn't see the pattern until yesterday. I got off of the phone with my sister after a 2hr conversation and immdiately felt angry and somewhat suicidal. Most of the conversations aren't bad, but it seems to trigger something in me that makes me feel like hurting someone or myself. I have never understood what made me feel that way.
Has anyone ever seen Conspiracy Theory  with the now crazy Mel Gibson. Everytime he saw the book Catcher in the Rye he felt compelled to buy it.
For me everytime I spend any time with my family I feel compelled to kill or hurt myself. I just feel horrible inside. In one way it almost comical. In another way I see it as insane paranoia.
I'm going to have to talk to my therapist about it. I love my family even as dysfunctional as we are. But maybe they are toxic to me. I don't know. I just don't know.
I'am feeling better today though. Thankyou God!