So ever since we got that apnea heart monitor for Jaycie she hasn't wanted to sleep at night anymore. Eventually, yea she'll go to bed. But it hasn't been until like 2 or 3 in the morning when I'm trying to put her down around 8:30 or 9. If she does go down she wakes back up at no later than 10 and will not go back to bed. I've kinda gotten a little frustrated the past 2 nights because I just don't understand it. I'm doing everything I did with Nickolus in trying to establish a schedule for her and it just hasn't been working. Then I have to think of how I would've given anything to have a moment like that with Nickolus again after I lost him and not to take any time for granted. Then I get mad at Michael for not being there for me and I get mad at myself for loving him when he's just a piece of crap. I don't know I'm just a hormonal wreck right now I think. I got so mad last night because that damn monitor went off because of a loose wire connection. It had went off about an hour or 2 before that because of my own error, I turned it on before I had her plugged in and I had finally gotten her to go to sleep and that piss ant machine woke her back up screaming and crying. After it went off the second time I unplugged it and practically threw it across the room. I didn't put it on her tonight and she's in bed sleeping peacefully. It hasn't hit 9 though so we'll see what happens. I really don't know what to do about it. I want to use the machine but I don't know if I will if it drives me crazy and won't let her sleep because then it's really not doing any good because it's to alert me when she's sleeping and not breathing but if she never sleeps then whats the freaking point? right? I don't know..