Happy Easter everyone!  It has been such a good week for me. I've been spending all of my time with Jaycie. She's so sweet. She's in her eating and sleeping stage of course, and she's so adorable. Right after I feed her I put her up to my shoulder to burp her, and she just curls right up and goes to sleep on my chest. She loves to cuddle. She tucks her little legs up underneath her and puts her feet together as if she were still in my tummy and nests herself into my chest and goes to sleep. I'm constantly having to fight my dad over who's going to hold her. Once he gets her he won't let her go until the next time she wants to eat. She's going to be so spoiled. I've had a few rough encounters of my own the past couple of days. Yesterday I was using the restroom and when I was washing my hands I started getting the chills all over me and my nipples became very sore. I didn't feel like I had a fever but it had just started so I asked my dad to watch Jaycie so I could go upstairs and lay in my bed for a while. When my mom came to wake me up a couple hours later to feed Jaycie, I was burning up. I had a 101.8 degree fever. I think some of my glands in one of my breasts were clogged and giving me an infection. So I had to call to get an antibiotic to take care of that. Then my pediatrician tells me that that could make her billiruben go back up but this lady seems like she pulls things out of the air sometimes. She's not my actual pediatrician but she was on call this weekend and last week at the hospital. She tried ordering blood samples on Jaycie because of her rash just for information on her calcium count which had nothing to do with fixing anything. I was so pissed when they tried sticking my little baby for blood. I told the lab guy who tried for 10 minutes to get blood out of my babys arm to get the hell out of my room and leave us alone they're not taking anything after trying with no success for 10 minutes. I called another doctor and this antibiotic is safer than asprin. I think she likes experimenting on peope or something. Then today I finally had the urge to go to the restroom. I haven't had a bowel movement since before I had Jaycie. I was so constipated I couldn't go at all and had a break down worried about having to go the ER. I fixed my problem, thank god. It was awful though. I won't go into detail about that. But after everything was all said and done, I just went and held my little girl.. And everything was better. I love having that kind of relief again. No matter what goes wrong, all I have to do is spend time with my baby and it's all better again. I truely hope everyone on here finds this kind of peace and happiness again. Don't mistake though, I'm still sad about the loss of Nickolus. I still think of him as much as I did before. It's just easier to handle the pain now that I have some happiness again. Hope everyone had a good holiday! love you guys.