Well, today's Thursday. I go to the hospital tomorrow to do some blood work before I have the c-section. Then I just have to make it through the weekend, and Monday morning I'll be holding my baby girl. I am so freaking anxious it's really getting on my nerves. She moves around all the time though to let me know she's okay. It's almost like she knows I'm worried. Maybe Nickolus is helping take care of that for me. I don't know how hard Monday is going to be for me because of Nickolus. I still miss him so much and I just feel like I'm going to have this huge wave of guilt for having her and not him. I don't know... we'll see how it all works out. Dear Nickolus, Mommy misses you still so much with every breath I take peanut. I hope you know how much my heart continues to ache for you and how much I think of you throughout the day. I truely hope that you're in a better place and know how much I love and miss you. I love you baby.
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Oh honey i wish you luck on the c section. Once you hold that baby you won\'t feel guilty for loving her. Nickolus will watch over her
hes taking care of u dont worry about a thing nickolus wont be mad at all he will be a happy big brother celebrating in heaven....take care mama and call me cuz i called u and u aint never called me back.... :(
You are in my prayers, as always. Have a beautiful little girl - I have to believe Nickolus will be sending her on to you with love and kisses. I\'m so glad to see you still have ElijahsMommy (Kaitlyn?) in your life. You two were so good for each other. My love to you both - Barbara