You know I've gone through the whole day wondering why todays date kept seeming weird to me.. I was reading someones journal and it clicked.. It's been 8 months since my little peanut passed away. Kinda like what Stephanie said about her Madeline, he's now been gone longer than he was alive. He was a week away from being 8 months. I just don't understand why these things happen to people who don't deserve it. Not that anyone deserves to loose a child, but I see people who are on drugs that still have their kids. People who don't take care of their kids and just let them run around but yet they still have them. I just don't get it. I thought I was a good mom. I was doing everything I thought I could to give Nickolus a better home and 2 parents... And instead I lost the most important thing in my life.. I'm starting to feel guilty because I'm not even remembering these things.. I didn't know that it was an anniversery today... I'm getting so wrapped up in whatever else is going on that I'm forgetting about my little boy.