Well everyone, I know it's been a while since I've been active on here. Since I quit my last job at the office I was working I couldn't really get on here much because my home internet was still on dial up and for some reason I couldn't access this website fully. I could only get bits and pieces and then it would quit working and I'd get mad and frustrated and just say forget it. BUT we got DSL now. Thank god for that. Anywho... I've been doing good. I have my first doctors appointment next week. I can't wait to hear the babys heart beat. I truely hope and pray that everything is okay. I'm so worried about getting there and them not finding a heart beat or something. At first I was so scared that it might be an ectopic pregnancy because I felt I was only getting sharp growing pains on one side but I was just paranoid because I'm 8 weeks now and thinking it would've done some damage already. I didn't remember those kinds of pains with Nickolus when I was pregnant but my gyno said I can't compare this pregnancy at all to my first one because they will be completely different. I'll just be glad when I hear the heart beat and see it in my first sonogram and know that everything is okay. I am going to be so paranoid and over protective of this child. But it's going to have so much love it won't know what to do with it. I just hope it doesn't take it the wrong way... I've seen kids do that from being smothered I guess you could call it by parents who have lost a child somehow. My friend Katie's mom Dee was so overbearing after losing a daughter to CF. But Katie actually turned out pretty good. She's my age (22) and is married lives in a nice house in a new neighborhood and has a stable career and a great husband. A lot better choices than I've ever made for myself. Who knows... I just want the best for this baby and hope everything turns out okay. I hope the odds are in my favor for losing a second child abruptly the way I lost Nickolus.