I know I haven't been on here much lately. A lot of things have been going on with work and my personal life. Things got really crazy there for me about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I was doing a lot of stupid things trying to ease the pain of losing my sweet Nickolus. But... me and Michael are back together again. We've been living together successfully for a full week now... Which is a really big thing because we couldn't 2 days without fighting and screaming and me losing it and throwing things across the room and telling him to get out. My cycle is finally normal... I had a normal period last month that came in 28 days after my one before that, it's been 2 weeks maybe a little more and I haven't started another one. And... Saturday I bought the ovulation tests by Clear Blue that have the smiley face test results (so much easier to determine) and yesterday I got a smiley face :) So I'm ovulating, and hopefully in 2 weeks I won't start my period and I'll be having another child. So everyone please keep your fingers crossed. If you're a christian please pray for me. I also want everyone to know that I'm seeking replacement for my little peanut. I could never replace that sweet angel. But I am looking to feel that love and comfort of another child. The hole in my heart will always be there for Nickolus and I know that. But I want to have my heart filled with some kind of joy to place next to that hole. I hope everyone else is doing well....

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I can totally understand that desire to have another little one. A book I read refered to subsequent children as not a \"replacement child\" but a \"healing child\"....I liked that.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I just want you to know I am behind you 100%, but if you do for some reason not become pregnant, don\'t get too stressed. Even under normal circumstances a woman in a given cycle only has a 25% chance of becoming pregnant. Glad to have you back and God bless.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My daughter Bonnie was born 26/6/2006. She was with us for 2 and half months. She also died of SIDS. Just wanted to say good luck in having a new baby. I too would love for this to happen to me. We\'ll cross fingers together hey.
deleted_user
deleted_user

When you do have your new baby, then you will have your answer \"why\"
deleted_user
deleted_user

Amen to what Leosmommy said. My daughter Mia saved my life! I like you,your drinking, went on a drinking and valium month, well 3months. So yes another baby will save your life.