I still miss my little man with every breath I take... but the zoloft is truely making things easier. The pain is still there, don't get me wrong it's just not as gut wrenching as it was before. I can't wait to conceive again so that I can share that unconditional love again, face to face. I miss Nickolus's smiles, his laugh, his kisses and his hugs. But no matter how hard it is to swallow, I know he's up there somewhere looking down at me. I know that he knew I was his mommy and I know that he loved me and I know he knew I loved him. That's all I can afford to remember now a days because otherwise I'm just going to keep falling further and further down into this hellhole of depression. I'm so thankful for Elijah's mommy, Kaitlyn. It's so weird how alike we are and how our situations are the same. And we joined this site within days of eachother. I know our little boys brought us together because we needed to know that we're not in this alone. I LOVE YOU KAITLYN!!