10 minutes

i couldnt even go 10 mintuesi realised tonight i was cut free. just a bunch of scars. the minute i said i had no cuts the urges crept in and they crept in fast.saying goodnight to everyone it took me a few minutes to grab a blade and attack my thigh which has only just stopped bleeding...why am i so fucked up that i couldnt even go one night knowing i was clean.its not fair... now i have to see my bf tomorrow who'll probably find them and tell me off... in love, he supports me, which is probably a good thing.
GAH off to sleep now im pissed off at myself.xx
hmm just changed the entry to frustrating and saw poetic/artistic... should i post some of my poems? hmmm :/