10/3/13
Meh. Things still keep going wrong. Little everyday, that's life kind of things but I dont seem to have the strength to not let them bug me. Carpet still damp. Smells horrid. Probably gonna have to shampoo this weekend. Just. Little. Things.
And I've regressed. Have started crying myself to sleep at night again. Not sure if it's because of him or a combination of things. Off my meds and this is the worst time of the year for me to go off my meds. Missing my mom badly. Next month will be 4 years. The end of October is not only the 1 year anniversary of the divorce, but also includes what should have been my 16th anniversary. Soooo, sigh. I dont know.
Dont feel like I miss him. But cant seem to stop thinking of her packing and getting ready to move here next month to marry him. Brings back so many memories. In my mind I see them bopping all over town happy happy happy. Holding hands. Smiling lovingly in to each others eyes. Glowing with happiness. While I am fighting my usual holiday blues--only worse.
At any rate, whatever it is..something has me pulled down in to the depths of despondency. Weekend coming. You know so many days when I get off work I just eel so low. So lonely. Going home to an empty place. When I get off on Fridays the feeling is even worse. When I get paid have to go back on my meds. I think it will make the difference I need.
And I've regressed. Have started crying myself to sleep at night again. Not sure if it's because of him or a combination of things. Off my meds and this is the worst time of the year for me to go off my meds. Missing my mom badly. Next month will be 4 years. The end of October is not only the 1 year anniversary of the divorce, but also includes what should have been my 16th anniversary. Soooo, sigh. I dont know.
Dont feel like I miss him. But cant seem to stop thinking of her packing and getting ready to move here next month to marry him. Brings back so many memories. In my mind I see them bopping all over town happy happy happy. Holding hands. Smiling lovingly in to each others eyes. Glowing with happiness. While I am fighting my usual holiday blues--only worse.
At any rate, whatever it is..something has me pulled down in to the depths of despondency. Weekend coming. You know so many days when I get off work I just eel so low. So lonely. Going home to an empty place. When I get off on Fridays the feeling is even worse. When I get paid have to go back on my meds. I think it will make the difference I need.
Replies
Pease try to stay on your meds. I know how money can get tight but maybe you can cut back on something else. Yes, you probably will feel much better once the meds are back in your system. Plan something special on Fridays when you get off work. A treat waiting on you at home or go somewhere you haven\'t been in a while. Even it it\'s just to go window shopping in a part of town you haven\'t been to in some time.
You are smart and you can figure this out.
Thanks Trish. I will. I know better than to off of them, especially this time of year when i need them the most.