10/27
Today could have been a great day. I am excited that I got accepted into graduate school. It is a big step for me knowing that I have accomplished somthing. I am proud of myself. I do not want to let anyone take this from me. On the flip side I did get into an argument with my dad. He has never been happy for me and seems to never loved me. He said awful things to me and one of them was that he is kicking me out. I am scared of the things he would do. I am currently packing some of my things and trying to find a place to stay. It hurts me that my mom does not do anything to defend me, her child. She has been abused by that man for years. I wish she could stand up and say enough is enough. Today should have been a great day but this person always seems to create a negative space. Sometimes I feel that I do not have anyone that truly cares for me.
Replies
I'm currently in online education to further my college career as well. Congratulations on getting accepted! You should be so proud of yourself, despite your obstacles in life. I feel like your mom maybe is scared or intimidated by your dad and, though it isn't right that your mom did not have a say in this situation, in order to find peace with her, you need to see her side as well. And, as I mentioned to you previously, my mother creates those negative spaces for me and never fully accepts me for who I am and, instead, finds ways to change me into her perfect little barbie doll. The only time I ever hear her say she's proud of me is when I make the Dean's List at my school; as I'm a straight A student. And I feel your lonliness as well. I recently moved to Pittsburgh to be with my long distance boyfriend (now fiance) and have absolutely no one here. Whenever I call home, as my grandma just passed a couple of months ago, I'm always told that they have enough stress of their own to hear about mine and my fiance really doesn't say much when I talk about my personal feelings or stressers in life. I feel so alone in this deserted place and my coworkers at my new job are horribly mean and judgemental and I just feel like life right now is horrible, despite the fact that I'm getting married and earning my degree to further my career into something great. I'm here for you.
Thank you so much for the support. I am going through a hard time. I only have my boyfriend to talk to but I have not been able to tell him about the abuse that I have gone through. I feel by telling him that it may change our relationship. I am not close to my family. I grew up with my parents always telling me that I should keep my feelings to myself. So I have never felt comfortable telling them how I feel. I try to talk to my mom but like I said I feel she always sides with my dad. I tried to understand that she might be afraid of what he can do. And I have spoken to her about it, and she has mentioned that sometimes she feels she did the wrong thing staying with him. However, nothing ever changes. I came on this website to be able to talk to someone about my situation. And so far I have received a lot of support. Knowing there are people who understand and are supportive means a lot to me. I have felt alone for so long but in this forum I have found people who have similar experiences and are being super supportive. It is nice for once having positive people who are there. I am also here to lend an ear and support you too.