10/13/13 - 10/2/16: You'd think it would be gone by now!

Okay, so much for keeping up with a Journal!  I'm not the journaling type of person, obviously.  Three years and back here again during a very painful Fall.  My worse nightmares have come true during these last years.  My daughter does have HS and has handled it very well.  She knows how badly I feel about giving her such a terrible disease so I think that keeps her from telling me when she has flares.  I'm so concerned for her future..

Over these past two weeks I have experienced what "I'd hoped wouldn't happen to me" when I noticed a little bump under my arm and looked and oh my there was a bigger one under that arm.  Approaching 40 years of HS and I guess I thought maybe I'd be spared that true trademark of this condition.  I have to admit I am crushed.  Don't know why, but I am.  It really hurts and is givng me a whole new set of unknowns.  How in the world am I gonna put my bra on tomorrow and I have to wear a shirt too!

So much has happened in life and big changes are on the way.  My twins will be 18 this month.  Aaahhhh...she has applied to go to college far away and he is happy staying local as long as it's free.  I am so proud of them; they really are my biggest blessing.  My husband is dealing with so much of his own issues with his health I try to keep my issues to myself as much as possible.  The best thing that has happened is I changed jobs.  What I thought was bad being "eliminated" from harley turned out to be a wonderful time of healing and recovering from the drama/stress there.  Then God dropped me rightt in the middle of more love and concern than I deserve.  Now I am a church secretary that hashealth insurance and am surrounded by people that pray for me instead of insult me.  It has been amazing.  Stress still exist...anywhere you go.  You still live life.

Managed to stay off of antibiotics for several years now and it has been great.  Not as sick feeling all the time.  Battling flares, explosions and slow healing.  The fight within yourself wears you down until you can't go anymore.  No friction is the goal!  Very sure I've not found anything to lessen the spreading to new skin or make any improvements to old ones.  I did get some momentary relief from a Lidacain patch that I was given and tried on my stomach.  Asked my doc for a script and was on my way to relief.  What?  MegaBucks...I can't afford those patches.  Can't fill the script.  Wished I had never felt that moment of coolness to know I can not get it.  Maybe I can find some way to get those things because under my arms is burning very badly and that would feel so great.  I hope this next few years things will sound better...like There's Been A Cure Found or at least this will stop it from spreading to new skin.  That's my prayers!  Lord, help us find a CURE!  Relief for now is appreciated:)