1 week
It was a week ago tonight that I last saw my husband alive..barely. He was just lying there, not taking anything in. I'm not sure if he even knew we were there,but somehow I knew that would be the last time...I was right...it was about 10:30 the next morning when the hospice called to say he had gone. I felt so sad, so guilty that he had died in that hospice, instead of at home like we wanted. Now that a week has passed, I'm in more pain than ever...it hurts worse with each day. I want so badly for him to be alive, to wake up and realize it was all just a horrible nightmare...but each morning that I wake up, the nightmare continues...I hate this life, The only thing keeping me going is our son. I can't stop crying.
Replies
Wendi . . my arms are around you as are others here. This is a very difficult time in your life. One week in and I do understand your emotions of sadness and guilt. It\'s okay to feel this way. You are grieving and yes it sucks! At least you are \"feeling\" which is better than stuffing, only for it to come back and hit you harder at a later date. Have you checked into a grief group in your area yet? Counseling, pastorial or other? Books that have been suggested by others here? Reach out to Martha (Clifskat) or Sharon (Shrn) directly here and they will give you a bevy of suggestions that will help. I\'m almost at a year and I can promise you it does get better. Different, but better. Hang in there my friend . . . you are not alone and we\'ll see you through this. Keep reaching out and one breath at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. xo, Dayna
Thanks, Dayna...I hope it gets better...it\'s been a full week now, and I just miss him so much.