1/30/2014
Meh. Up and down and all around. Ring around the Rosy we all fall down. My moods. He is on my mind constantly. I can be in the middle of doing something and BAM--he intrudes on my thoughts and my mood plummets. I try to occupy my mind with other things. I'm taking sleeping pills to try and keep him out of my mind when I go to bed...but...sigh.
I just....I still miss him and cant seem to get past that. And don't throw that chestnut at me that it's not him I miss, it's who I thought he was. Balderdash. I miss him. I miss us. It's not loneliness. It's him. I miss him.
God how I miss him lately....
Counting the minutes till I get off work so I dont have to hold back the tears any longer. I can go home. put myself to bed and cry as much as I need/want.
I just....I still miss him and cant seem to get past that. And don't throw that chestnut at me that it's not him I miss, it's who I thought he was. Balderdash. I miss him. I miss us. It's not loneliness. It's him. I miss him.
God how I miss him lately....
Counting the minutes till I get off work so I dont have to hold back the tears any longer. I can go home. put myself to bed and cry as much as I need/want.
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