1/27/2013
As far as relationships or even significant other friendships are concerned ,,,things are rarely if ever what they seem to be ,,,and that continues to be a frustration to me ...I am not at all sure of outcomes any more ,,,only that these things seem to collapse before they can even sprout legs ,,,I want some kind of simple companionship,,nothing complicated and that has been the missing egg in the carton all of these years ,,,it seems the harder that I try the further backward this seems to go,,,it is not a case of 3 steps forward and 2 steps back,,,rather more like 2 steps forward and 6 or more steps back and I am emotionally worse off than when I started ,,,I fully admit that I am terrible at this ,,,and have read self help books by the dozen and it somehow doesn't transfer from the page to real life ,,,Some times I feel that having driven my car for X number of years my thoughts and needs expect me to get this 787 off the ground and I am lucky to get the engines cranking ,,,
I guess that I have my own outlook and way of doing things which further complicates this task,,also my ego may get in the way sometimes ,,,it is all pretty silly,,,I am 63 and I am miserable and I have the flu as an added bonus to all this ,,,well I have two very nice cats ,,so there is something positive out of all this ,,,
I guess that I have my own outlook and way of doing things which further complicates this task,,also my ego may get in the way sometimes ,,,it is all pretty silly,,,I am 63 and I am miserable and I have the flu as an added bonus to all this ,,,well I have two very nice cats ,,so there is something positive out of all this ,,,
Replies
I am sorry to hear you still have the flu. I hope you get well soon!
You have cats which is a positive thing. You are not alone. And you have DS friends, too. Really! I live alone with no pets. I can barely afford myself no less pets! (The new year brought me the necessity to cut my budget by over 10% thanks to higher payroll taxes and lower unemployment income.) Life stinks sometimes but when you\'re feeling bad, pet your cat. When I had a cat it always made me feel better.
I gave up on companionship and anything romantic years ago. It just hurts less that way. It\'s bad enough to be rejected by friends or others who know you - no need to add strangers. It does become easier over time to be totally alone. I won\'t say it doesn\'t still hurt because it does. But accepting the inevitable always hurts. Luckily for you, it\'s probably NOT inevitable. You\'re an intelligent, kind man (who also makes wonderful muffins!) and it\'s probably just a matter of casting the net further into the ocean. Stop listening when people tell you that when you stop looking you\'ll find the right person. I hate when people think they know what is best for you. So don\'t think I know what\'s best for you. Just want you to know you have support out here. You are not alone.